Rolling On Floor Laughing

This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said “Tenpin?” I said, “No, permanent.”

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, “That’s Aboriginal.”

I went in [...]

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from [...]

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the “herd shot ’round the world”.

Two boll weevils grew up in South [...]